Scripts
"Me & the Scallywags"
90 minute theatre performance for all the family
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Poor Bonny! Shipwrecked on a desert island. Her hopes of rescue and getting home in time for Christmas are dashed as Captain Piccanose and his motley crew, the Scallywags, visit the island to bury his treasure. They take Bonny hostage on board The Pink Piccanose, but her presence there soon brings the crew together as she tells them all about Father Christmas. But peril awaits as the ship is attacked by Tentacular the giant Kraken.
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Captain Piccanose is caught up in one of Tentacular's tentacles, about to be dragged out to sea but is rescued by Bonny. In a debt of gratitude he promises to get Bonny home in time for Christmas, but as the crew embrace Bonny as one of their own and pull together to get her home, Bonny realises that what she really wanted, what she yearns for, is a 'family' to spend Christmas with, and chooses to become a Scallywag - Scallywags ahoy!
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"...absolutely brilliant with amazing music, storytelling and stagecraft/effects. You are in for a treat!
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"I am overcome with emotion about today's performance of Scallywags! The actors were unbelievable!
Talented and skilled at their craft! There was laughter and I even felt so taken aback at the twinkling lights and softer, deeper moments of the story. Not to mention the piratey/Christmasy atmosphere with music that made your heart so happy! We were both singing and dancing going back home... thank you for making Christmas special!"
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Premiered December 2023 at Guiseley Theatre by Codswallop CIC.
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Watch the promo video. Listen to the show song.
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Photos by Gigs&Picks
"The Feast"
A specially commissioned piece of theatre to be performed by a community cast at Codswallop CIC's 'Tales Told Festival 2023' , this year delivered with partnership with Leeds 2023.
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With project funding from Leeds 2023, members of the local community across all generations were brought together over a number of sessions, facilitated by Sarah Shaw from Fall into Place Theatre, to share their memories and stories about food - their likes, their dislikes, funny stories with food at the centre, anecdotes of meal times...
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With this rich cooking pot of shared experiences, a 30 minute performance piece of monologues woven together against the backdrop of a family coming together to celebrate Grandma's 80th birthday was written. With a community cast of all ages to reflect the tales that had been told, the performance was delivered on 2nd July 2023, upon the biggest outdoor dining table in Leeds!
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"Bravo Victor - Christmas is Saved!"
A 60 minute theatre performance for all the family.
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In a distant valley at the foot of Mount Lumberg, young Astrid whiles away the days in the Junction Box of the Lumberg Rail Company Railway. Desperate for companionship, she speaks out into the void over the airways using her CB radio. To all intents and purposes, a hopeless exercise, until one day her call is intercepted by a hapless, lonely chap, Victor. A friendship over the airwaves is formed.
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A while later, a storm brews causing a tree to fall across the train line. Disaster! It's the day the train passes through the junction that carries all the Christmas trees to be delivered to homes across the world! Without a Christmas tree, where will Santa leave the presents?!?
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Astrid puts out a distress call - who will answer? How will they save the day?? Will the Christmas trees be delivered in time??? Come along to find the answer to all these questions...
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"Just wonderful from start to finish! Beau was captivated from the moment we sat down."
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"It was amazing... brilliant twist at the end. So, so clever... BRAVOOOO!!"
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"It was such a good show!! Esther tantrummed ALL the way home because she didn't want it to be finished!"
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"What an incredible performance - laughter, tears, gasps of wonder - you brought it all! Fabulous fabulous fabulous! Thank you!"
Produced by Codswallop CIC, premiered at Guiseley Theatre, December 2022.
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Watch the promo video. Hear Astrid's song.
Photos by Gigs&Picks​
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"Clap" (spec script)
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Love and Lust - the Russian roulette of sexual health (even with those in the know)...
6 x 30 minute episodes for TV
Introverted and sixteen, Joseph Elliot could never have imagined how his life would be turned upside down as he starts his position as Administration Apprentice at the Camford Centre for Sexual Health… Health Advisor Georgie Stokes takes him under her wing, but matters take an unexpected turn when a hand of friendship turns into a passionate encounter. Any rational thoughts that the experience could be construed as abusive are fleetingly put aside… never mind the consequence of her relationship with Ollie, her army boyfriend serving in overseas!
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Meanwhile, Specialist Practitioner Matthew Armitage believes he can balance his Christian values with the lifestyle of those he treats. It is his mission to bring enlightenment to those that are ignorant of the consequences of their actions. With his impending marriage, he soon discovers the negative impact of the work he does on his libido... what affect will this have on his wedding night?
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But the day job still goes on as staff members treat, console and educate all walks of life that pass through the clinic – dealing with routine infections… and some that are not!
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However, even those who are in the know don’t always heed the advice that they give… with devastating consequences.
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Highly respected and reputed Lead Clinician Dr Vanessa Jones hides her deep rooted emotional abuse from colleagues, and seeks to help others not to have the same experience she has had.
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Officious Clinic Manager Zoe Clarke finds her world falling apart as the honesty and integrity that she holds so dear is destroyed by her gay husband.
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Matters come to a head when Georgie reveals that she is pregnant. Joseph confesses his undying love just as Ollie arrives home – what path will she take?
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"On Hallowed Ground"
Brand new for 2022, a play inspired by Guiseley AFC , commissioned by Guiseley Theatre in partnership with Codswallop CIC and supported by Leeds Inspired!
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The heart of any football club is its fans. The heart of its fans is the club.
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It’s 1991 and Guiseley AFC are heading to Wembley to play in the final of the FA Vase against Gresley Rovers, but the drama doesn’t all happen on the pitch!
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United by their love for The Lions, a community cast joins professional actors as they journey to find out what it truly means to belong.
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"It was brilliant! We loved every minute. Such a passionate, enlightening, emotional and sincere journey. Great production, wonderful performances and everything felt like it came from the heart. One of the best things we've seen. Bloody fantastic! You should all be very proud."
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"Brilliant evocation of what football really means to people. Great writing, innovative direction, and ultra-enthusiastic performances. To paraphrase Brian Clough: "I'm not saying it's the best show I've seen about football - but it's in the top one."
Photos by Gigs&Picks​
"Home Grown" (spec script)
A quirky community of allotment holders wage battle against a wide boy commercial housing developer to protect their (sometimes dubious!) crops from being raised to the ground.
6 x 30 minute episodes for TV
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Lorna James has her hands full as Chairperson of the Fuller's Height Allotment Association - particularly as time draws near for the annual Barbecue and Produce Competition amidst suspicions of sabotage! But all this pales into insignificance when it comes to light that the council are trying to quite literally sell the land from underneath their feet to an unscrupulous property developer.
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The quirky community put aside their differences to become environmental warriors and thwart the development plans...
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"S.P.A.R.K. Illumination Co."
60 minute promenade theatre performance for all the family
Ever wondered what it's like to work at Guiseley's very own Christmas Light factory?
Well now you can find out on a magical tour of 'S.P.A.R.K. Illumination Co.' - a socially distanced theatrical experience full of mayhem, beauty, chaos and lights!
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Disaster strikes as the staff at S.P.A.R.K. Illumination Co. are in the final throws of completing the order of Christmas lights for Buckingham Palace! Will they be able to complete the order in time? Will the Queen have her festive delights? Or will they all be sent off to the Tower? There's only one way to find out!
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"Amazing afternoon with Codswallop CIC. We have never done an interactive theatre experience before but I would recommend it to everyone. The kids were mesmerised and so keen to get involved as we worked our way through the show. Thank you so much to the incredible actors, and the artists who transformed the Theatre into a Light Factory, that made todays festive outing so much fun! Go an see SPARK!"
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"We were supposed to go to The Grand on Saturday for my son's birthday but they had to cancel the performance. We were going to catch this another day but thought we would go on Saturday since we were geared up for a theatre performance. Not only did it not disappoint but it exceeded our expectations of a small theatre. We are so lucky to have such big talents local. Thank you for saving the day!"
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Premiered December 2021 at Guiseley Theatre by Spotty Socks Theatre Company.
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Watch the promo video. Photos by Gigs&Picks
"The Kitchen Sink Drama Anthology"
An anthology of plays reflecting social issues which affect the diverse country we live in today.
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Research by Hotpoint, in 2016, found the ‘most important decisions in life are made in the kitchen’. Kitchen Sink Drama takes this notion and unpacks many social issues that affect our diverse culture.
Each drama takes place in the kitchen of a different household, and reveals the challenges of, for example, austerity, racism, coercive control, mid-life crisis, arranged marriage, sexuality, infidelity, ageing parents, and addiction; issues that are confronted behind closed doors in many homes across the country in the times that we live in today.
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'KITHEN SINK DRAMA - CHARLOTTE' LONG LISTED BY THE TRAVERSE THEATRE, EDINBURGH
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'Kitchen Sink Drama - Charlotte'
Sam is the son of Lydia (his birth mother) and Charlotte. It’s his 18th birthday. A family house party to celebrate the occasion is in full flow.
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All is going well until the unexpected arrival of Sam's estranged birth father, Bruce!
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Bruce comes to the house with a whole bucket load of baggage. Having recently lost his own father, he has re-evaluated all his priorities and wants to be a part of Sam’s life.
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His arrival causes Charlotte to confront many deeply buried emotions. Having fathered Sam by sperm donation with Lydia, Charlotte cut Bruce out of their lives when he refused to donate sperm for her to have a baby too – a denial that has caused Charlotte to suppress so much hurt, anger and bitterness.
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Ultimately it is a decision for Sam to make… but what choice will that be?
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"Bruce" - monologue
Bruce finds himself sitting in a pub contemplating his life. Having donated his sperm to his lesbian friends so they could have a family, circumstances took a turn, resulting in him being estranged from his son. As a gay man he has never been in a committed relationship to be in a position to bring up a child. But, today is his sons 18th birthday, forcing Bruce to confront the choices he has made through his life.
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"Bruce" was written as a character development exercise for one of an anthology of plays under the heading 'Kitchen Sink Drama' - a collection of plays that explore issues facing us in the world we live in today; holding up a mirror, making a record, and capturing the essence of life in the 21st Century.
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"Bruce" was selected by Katalyst Productions as part of their 'Beginnings - A festival of New Writing', and and was performed at The Lion & Unicorn Theatre, London, on 11th and 12th July 2021, performed by Nigel Fairs, directed by Louise Jameson.
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Photo credits:
KatAlyst Productions
"Molly and Madeleine The Christmas Stowaways"
90 minute theatre performance for all the family
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Based on an original idea by Gracie Thompson (aged 8 1/4 ), "Molly and Madeleine..." follows two estranged sisters on a journey of self discovery as they stowaway in Santa's sack and are whisked off around the world and end up stranded in the North Pole.
Frightened and alone, they are befriended by the Elves of the North Pole, and with their help, learn how to 'ride the Northern Lights' to get them home just in time for Christmas morning...
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A magical spectacular journey for all the family at Christmas time.
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"I've just managed to settle a very excited Girl Child in bed after going to see 'Molly and Madeleine: The Christmas Stowaways' - if you're local and haven't booked tickets yet, do it while you can! I was blown away by how good it was: creative, innovative and full of heart. As a theatre graduate I've seen a lot of plays and I can't remember a time I grinned ear to ear quite as much as I did this evening! I also love that Codswallop CIC had a relaxed performance so I didn't have to worry about Girl Child getting overexcited or overwhelmed. She said on a scale of 1 to 100 she'd give it 1000!
(This is #notaspon - I just get very excited when I see amazing theatre!)"
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"We came to your relaxed performance last night with my 2 kids and thought it was fab! We especially loved the black and white animated sequence when the girls arrived at the North Pole. It has inspired my 10 year old wannabe animator."
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"Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!! Absolutely INCREDIBLE production!!!! We were wrapt from the outset. After my 3 year old declared she didn’t want to see it her eyes were out on stalks for the whole performance. Riveting production, hilarious, endearing puppet elves & awesome acting. Great, relevant, message. Brilliant idea and love the fact it was conceived in a little girl’s mind. 5*****!"
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Premiered December 2019 at Guiseley Theatre by Spotty Socks Theatre Company.
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Hear the Elves Christmas party song Photos by Gigs&Picks​
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"To Be or Not To Be? Purgatory is the Question..."
Or to put it another way... 'Oi! 'amlet! 'ow's ya Father?'
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45 minute immersive theatre performance
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A roller coaster ride of emotion exploring the many varied dynamics that make up modern family life.
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To all intents and purposes, his death has been avenged and Old Hamlet can rest in peace, but the matter isn't resolved just yet. Hamlet, his son, is now also dead.
There is still unfinished business. A chance for a father and son to meet. In purgatory. And the reunion isn't a happy one...
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But with a twist, the story of Hamlet and his father is unpacked, and the themes and ideas that were first played out in the early 1600's, are brought right up to the present day.
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Commissioned and first performed at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in 2019 by Falling Stars Theatre Company.
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"Freckle and Speckle's Christmas Calamity"
An epic adventure that uplifts your heart and sets the scene for Christmas…
90 minute theatre performance for all the family
Poor Elf Freckle! Causing chaos wherever he goes!! Banished from the North Pole for breaking the Magical Music Making Machine, made by Elf Speckle's Great, Great Great Grandfather Elf Pickle, nearly 400 years ago...!!! Join Freckle on this EPIC adventure, making merriment (and a song!) as he overcomes adversity (with the reluctant help of Elf Speckle) to find his way home....
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"We loved each and every second, especially our eldest who has cerebral palsy and autism and the relaxed performance was outstanding. Thank you so so much. We cannot recommend it highly enough. Every single person on and off stage were fabulous well done and happy Christmas!"
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"Just been to see Freckles and Speckles Christmas show. What a brilliant evening! Thoroughly entertaining from start to finish. If you have children and can get there - don’t miss it. If you haven’t got youngsters around but love to hear children giggling, then get to this show."
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"We watched Freckle and Speckle's Christmas Calamity this afternoon and absolutely loved it! It was superb. It was rib ticklingly funny and the characters and story all unique! Thank you for a super start to our festivities!"
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Premiered December 2018 at Guiseley Theatre by Spotty Socks Theatre Company.
Hear the Freckle and Speckle song Audience responses Review
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Photos by Gigs&Picks​
"Normal" (spec script)
Helping others to be ‘normal’ can force those that are ‘normal’ over the edge…
6 x 1 hour episodes for TV
To all intents and purposes, Kelly has lived an idyllic life - as a devoted mum, she spent the last 15 years immersing herself in meeting the needs of Elliot and Shannon. She’s done an amazing job, holding the fort while her husband, Steve, has been making ends meet in his garage business. But times have changed.
The garage isn’t doing the trade, and the kids are growing up. They don’t need her anymore.
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With mixed emotions she starts out on her new career… Kelly begins her job as a Family Therapist for the Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service (CAMHS). Surely having brought up her own family will help her to be better at the job? Such insight into the world of bringing up children can only be a good thing…
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Kelly throws herself into the job, working long hours, preoccupied by the needs of her clients, but reaps the reward as she sees the positive impact she is having on cases of depression, psychosis, OCD and bullying… she is making a difference, and very quickly these needy young people become dependent on her. But little does she realise the effect this is having on the lives of those she loves – her own family.
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Life at home begins to unravel as Elliot and Shannon hit hormone hell. Feeling that they have been abandoned they start seeking their own way of dealing with the challenges they face, throwing themselves headlong into the extreme trappings of teenage trauma – Elliot seeking solace from internet pornography, Shannon turning to alcohol as a coping mechanism for the unprovoked taunting directed at her in school.
Meanwhile, neglected Steve is desperate to have an attentive wife… what will he do to meet his needs? A friendly ear comes in the form of Kelly’s friend and Neighbour, Fiona.
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Torn between those that are in desperate need and those that are desperate to be needed, what will Kelly do to balance the scales?
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"Monologues from the Mills"
Specially commissioned monologues created from interviews with former Mill Workers, performed as part of Codswallop CIC's 'Tales Told Festival 2018', produced by Spotty Socks Theatre Company.
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